Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
