How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
