If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
