but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
