Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
two words...techno handjob
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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