What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
