Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
