i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
