Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think your dad took our porno
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
