He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
