dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I had to cum in my sink.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
