WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
