my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
