lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
