Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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