it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
