Your face is a jimmy john
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
