DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How naked do you want me to be?
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