Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
