We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
