i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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