i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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