Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
