Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She's the barista slut.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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