Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
