Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
