Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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