so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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