didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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