Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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