..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
