1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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