Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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