I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
