but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
