I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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