I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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