So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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