Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
