bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
