I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Boobs are out for the taking
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
