I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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