Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
