after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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