I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
