New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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