he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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