Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
