6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
