We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
