The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
